What our mothers taught us
1. Our mother taught us TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. Our mother taught us RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. Our mother taught us about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. Our mother taught us LOGIC.
"Because, I said so, that's why."
5. Our mother taught us MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with us."
6. Our mother taught us FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. Our mother taught us IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. Our mother taught us about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. Our mother taught us about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck"
10. Our mother taught us about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. Our mother taught us about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. Our mother taught us about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. Our mother taught us the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out"
14. Our mother taught us about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. Our mother taught us about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. Our mother taught us about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. Our mother taught us about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. Our mother taught us MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. Our mother taught us ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. Our mother taught us HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to us."
21. Our mother taught us HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. Our mother taught us GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. Our mother taught us about Our ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. Our mother taught us WISDOM.
"When you get to be Our age, you'll understand."
25 Our mother taught us about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
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