A new Priest that sip more than two times.

A new priest at his frist mass was so nervous he could heardly speak.
After mass he asked the Senior how he had done.

The Senior replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of beer next to the water glass.

If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So the next Sunday the priest took the Senior's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk and talk and talk on like a storm.
Upon his return to his office he found the following note on the door.

1. Sip the beer, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not get his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ and his apostles as J.C. and the boys.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, Not Goliath kill David.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say...he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it, for it is my body." He did not say, "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the gurb, Yeah! God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.