Humorous Wise Sayings

He who uses a defective climbing robe on a palm tree is tempting God!

You can hate the anus, but you go to clean it every day.

Cheer up! Remember the less you have, the more there is to get.

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Show me your friends and I tell you who you are.

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. ~ Quentin Crisp

Be nice to the people you met on your way up; you might need them on your way down.

A fool at forty is a fool forever

The cock that crows at night has no say at dawn.

A child that does not allow the mother to sleep at night will not also sleep.

Whoever tells you that cornstalk fire burnt throughout the night, tell him he did not sleep a wink feeding the fire.

You can fight and all of you will die, or you can surrender in which case only most of you will die. - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

He who sleeps with adults in the same room knows best when to pretend to be asleep.